Month: May 2016

Orphan Black Season 4, Episode 7 Recap: Rock Bottom

More than ever before, this season of Orphan Black has often been a matter of style over substance. Yes, we’ve gotten some big, juicy storylines, some really wild and awesome (and not to mention occasionally horrifying) ideas, and, of course, the tour de force acting of Tatiana Maslany and the rest of Orphan Black’s incredible cast. But more and more, all of that awesome goodness is often covering up fundamentally weak plot ideas that really don’t make sense. That’s not always a bad thing, but when it happens a lot, it’s a problem. And this season, it’s starting to happen a lot.

Our latest episode, “The Antisocialism of Sex,” is a fairly good example of this. It opens on a down note for pretty much all of Clone Club, with everyone feeling the loss of Kendall. Sarah knows that she’s the direct reason for Kendall’s death, and Mrs. S isn’t letting her forget it. When Sarah reminds Mrs. S that Kendall was her blood relative, too, the cold reply is “You came to me an orphan. That’s all you’ll ever be.” Ouch. Guess she’s still a little bitter.

Sarah’s response to this is to run, which makes sense on a certain level – she’s feeling guilty, she’s sick of being responsible for what’s happening, and she wants to cut loose and not think for awhile. Okay, fine. But abandoning her daughter Kira with Mrs. S … that doesn’t exactly make sense, considering how much she’s been bonding with her daughter lately, and how much just about everything she does is to protect Kira. And while going out and getting shitfaced drunk makes sense, going out to a bar, getting shitfaced drunk and snorting drugs and hooking up in a random threesome in Lindsay Lohan fashion is more than a bit overkill. We get that she’s hurting, but that’s using a sledgehammer to make the point.

Fortunately, Sarah’s two main companions for her Clones Gone Wild bar escapade are 1) Dizzy the ZZ top roadie/hacker, who was her recent contact for reaching M.K., and 2) Drunken Visions of Beth. Dizzy inadvertently keeps Sarah tenuously grounded (and inadvertently keeps himself from getting laid) by continuously bringing up Neolution-related topics. Specifically, he’s noticed that Sarah ditched her maggot-bot implant, and wants to know how she got it out. Her reaction is to call him a wanker and leave. Sarah heads to the train station – the one where she saw Beth commit suicide – and has an extended conversation with Drunken Vision of Beth. “You gonna follow me the rest of my life?” Sarah asks. And DVB’s reply of “Tonight’s our last night” doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, and neither does the rest of her continued pleas for Sarah to off herself.

Cosima’s not doing much better. Evil Cho’s malware surprise wiped all her research, watching Kendall die wasn’t exactly fun, and Darkwing Duko telling her that Delphine was dead was even worse. Scott’s brought her bad coffee and a good croissant, though. Awww. Scott’s awesome. The thought of starting over their research from scratch isn’t very appealing to Cosima, as she thought everything they’d done was just leading to dead ends anyway. She wants to start from a different angle – and if by “a different angle,” you were thinking “Sarah’s gross extracted maggot-bot in the glass specimen bottle,” you’d be correct. This makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is Cosima proceeding to lock herself in the basement of the Rabbit Hole and trying to stick the maggot-bot in her own cheek. Um, what? She says it’s sensible, but for someone who’s usually so pragmatic and all about the scientific method, and not rushing into things … this is beyond out of character. And bizarre.

Fortunately, for both Cosima and Sarah, Felix is on the way to save the day. (We’ll ignore the fact that his whole “we need to pull the family together, dammit!” attitude is also completely out of character with how he’s been behaving lately.) After hearing from Kira that she thinks her mommy is “following Beth,” he rushes off to find his sister and save her from her latest path of self-destruction. And while he’s hunting down Sarah, Fe gets the phone call from Scott that Cosima’s being equally self-destructive. No problem: Felix proves to be quite the multi-tasker. He manages to get Cosima on the phone first, and relays what Krystal told him last week – that hey, guess what, she saw Cosima was alive!!!

Sigh. Felix, we – the fans of Orphan Black – love you dearly, but …

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… you just remembered this now???? Yeesh.

Anyway, it keeps Cosima from self-implanting a maggot-bot. Felix then manages to find Sarah at the train station, and tells her basically not to follow Beth. “Oy, Sarah. This isn’t the way, is it? You’ve gotta be stronger than her, Sarah,” he tells his sister. He literally talks her off a ledge to self-destruction, which is kind of an amazing scene to watch. They hug, and after the weird awkwardness between Sarah and Felix that’s been going on since the start of this season, it’s a terrific moment.

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Meanwhile, Alison’s not quite as lucky. She’s planned a birthday party for Gemma, and she’s determined to make it perfect. So it’s safe to say that a police raid led by Darkwing Duko storming into her house during the party wasn’t exactly on her itinerary. Donnie gets slapped in cuffs and hauled off to jail on drug-dealing charges, no doubt because Evil Cho’s making good on her promise to make the Clones fully obsolete. (Earlier in the episode, Art also chose to beat the crap out of Darkwing Duko, which probably helped move forward the Obsoleting the Clones timetable.) Darkwing Duko chooses to gloat to Alison as Donnie’s hauled off … guess his “I really don’t have a choice” speech to Cosima last episode as to why he’s with Neolution is kind of bullshit. He sure seems pretty happy to be bullying around everyone associated with Clone Club.

Speaking of Evil Cho, Rachel’s still trapped on the Island of Misfit Clones (which seems a more apt description than Susan’s “Island of Dr. Moreau.”) And speaking of Susan, she’s returned to the island, where she informs Rachel about the coup d’état that just happened at Neolution. Susan gives Rachel some plot exposition about the formation of Neolution. Turns out a crazy rich white guy in the 19th Century really dug Darwinism, and formed a secret society devoted to creating perfect humans. Because of course he did. Susan and Rachel then get to conference call Evil Cho, who smugly informs them that she’s now in charge of Neolution, and the Leda and Castor programs are kaput. She also casually mentions that the self-aware Ledas need to be eliminated. Rachel tries to be teacher’s pet and reminds Evil Cho that a) she loves Neolution! Really! and b) she’d be a big asset in rounding up her rogue sestras. Evil Cho’s responds “Do you actually think Neolution would let a clone take a position of real importance?” Oooh, burn! (Meanwhile, I am sooooooo going to love it when Helena finally meets up with Evil Cho to teach her some manners.) Rachel heads off to get pouty with Wednesday Charlotte, lick her wounds … and, oh, by the way, her bionic eye starts giving her pixelated visions of swans. Weird.

And speaking of weirdness, everything gets capped off with Kira playing Minecraft (yay!) and promptly getting hacked by M.K., who tells Kira that she has a message. Oh, boy.

All in all, a fairly depressing episode that manages to end on some high notes. Hopefully we’ve bottomed out for this season, and things start looking up for Clone Club!

The Good:

“What’s your story?” “Well, I’m a clone. There’s twenty-two of me going around out there.” Yes! Dizzy kicks ass. I hope we see more of him this season.

Donnie’s not the brightest bulb sometimes, but you have to love his sweet, steady devotion to Alison. She may not be thrilled by his invitation of Pastor Mike to the slumber party, but he knows she’s hurting, just like Cosima and Sarah. He’s genuinely trying to help her, albeit in his own bumbling way.

“Yes, it’s fortunate you found such an ineffective means of suicide, Ira.” Rachel succinctly says what we’ve all been thinking anyway, except I think she actually meant to say “unfortunate”. Because it’s what I would’ve said. But whatever.

The Bad:

I’m still trying to figure out why everyone on the Island of Misfit Clones dresses like an Apple Store employee.

So, the past three seasons of Orphan Black have hinged around the Leda clones being of supreme importance to Neolution, worth all sorts of murders and blackmail and skullduggery … and in one fell swoop, they’re suddenly meaningless? AAAARRRGGGHHH. This is when Orphan Black drives me crazy. It’s always about ridiculous extremes, just like Sarah’s Lohan bender. I can see Evil Cho downgrading the Ledas in terms of Neolution importance, but to arbitrarily dismiss them as obsolete? It’s short-sighted and doesn’t make sense.

Wait, Art beats the piss out of Darkwing Duko, and then an hour later, he looks fine when he’s busy arresting Donnie and taunting Alison? Wow, he cleans up nice.

The WTF:

A lot of this episode, unfortunately.

-Mike

Orphan Black Season 4, Episode 6 Recap: You’re Betamax

A gut-wrenching episode of Orphan Black! But is that a good thing, or is the series twisting the plot yet again because … well, they can? We’ll get to that as we discuss “The Scandal of Altruism.”

First, we have a Highlander-esque flashback! Beth is back in black (and blonde) as we, the audience, see what voyeur Art couldn’t: where Beth went after she left her apartment with the handgun. She plans to assassinate Mommie Dearest herself, Susan Duncan! There’s much more to come in this flashback, and it’s too bad the regular characters can’t watch this at home like us, because boy, these flashbacks would’ve come in handy!

We check in with a bunch of folks in rapid succession:

  • The Eww Couple of Susan Duncan and DNA-Boy-Toy Ira have a post-coitus discussion of their options, and we learn that Ira does have the same potential for “glitching” as the other Castor clones. Still, Susan sees hope for him “as long as Sarah listens to reason.” Uh-huh. Susan, you haven’t been paying attention to this series, have you?
  • Cosima tells Sarah all about her BrightBorn experience and the chat with Susan Duncan and Evil Cho. There’s a deal to be made, especially with the clock continuing to tick on Cosima’s life.
  • Over at the police station, Art quickly steers Detective (and Neolution spy) Darkwing Duko away from Krystal, who has come to complain about the conspiracy “targeting beauty professionals.” As misguided as she is, her quest for answers could cause a lot of problems for Clone Club. The solution: Felix poses as “Inspector Dawkins, from the Yard.” Krystal: “Which yard?” “Scotland Yard.” It’s one of the few bits of levity in a brutal episode. No room for Hendrix hijinks in this one.

Sarah goes to BrightBorn to talk terms with Susan and Evil, and she learns that each maggot bot is given a different task. Leekie’s maggot bot was designed to impede the onset of Alzheimer’s. Sarah’s bot was designed to make her sick. Neolution wanted to know why Sarah’s biology was different than her sestras’, so her maggot bot was playing Whack-a-Mole with her immune system to collect answers. Sarah has important info to share, too: Kendall Malone has cancer. However, this is potentially good news for Clone Club! Cosima and Scott can use the cancer cells’ reproduction to separate Leda from Castor in Kendall’s wacky DNA.

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Sarah’s condition from giving those cells to Susan? “We’re not saving Castor.” Thank you, Sarah! She’ll give only Leda cells so that Cosima and the other sestras can be cured. Ira isn’t happy that his Mrs. Robinson refuses to go to bat for him after all the times he’s, uh, batted for her, and he gets all Morrissey for the rest of the episode. Evil Cho and Cosima then remove Sarah’s maggot bot in a surprisingly risky operation, and we’ll very glad that Cosima was there to keep an eye on Evil. Hmmm, I don’t trust her!

Mrs. S isn’t happy about the planned cell swap. “You bartered my mother behind my back!” (Coincidentally, that’s the plot of the lost episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.) But things do move along: Scott begins harvesting the Leda cells while Susan and Kendall have an unpleasant chat. Then things go south fast! Kendall is nabbed on her way out of the meeting, Sarah tosses bleach on the cell samples and accuses Susan of pulling a fast one, and Cosima is in the grasp of Evil Cho. Susan pleads innocence, so the Kendall-napper had to be the scorned Ira, right? Nope! It’s Darkwing Duko, who takes Kendall to an abandoned field, where they wait….

We learn via flashback that Beth spared Susan’s life after hearing Susan say, “I’m your creator” and claiming that she loved Beth and all the Leda gals. Susan says that if Beth kills her, it won’t solve anything, it’ll give the script editors heart failure, and it’ll probably result in all the Ledas being killed. So, wonder Sarah and Art, where did the blood on Beth’s hands come from?

From Evil Cho, that’s where! She orchestrated the assassination attempt to knock Susan off the top perch of Neolution, and Beth beats the crap out of her when she realizes she’d been set up. Darkwing Duko stops Beth, but Beth believes Evil’s claim that the only way to keep the other clones safe (at least for a while) is if Beth kills herself and takes her crusade with her. Honestly, this part seemed like a bit of a stretch. If Beth knows that Neolution is going to keep manipulating  the clones’ lives – or worse – then what benefit is truly gained by her suicide?

In the present, Evil shows up at the field with Cosima in tow. Her plan is to kill Kendall and incinerate the body so that no genetic info can be retrieved. Essentially, Evil wants all the clones to go away and die. Direct genetic manipulation is where all the fun is! Clones? Feh. That’s competing tech, and obsolete competing tech at that. She tells Cosima coldly, “You’re Betamax.”

With that, Darkwing shoots Kendall in the head and sets fire to the van. Evil doesn’t kill Cosima – probably to avoid a revenge spree from Sarah – but before she leaves, she rubs a bit of salt in the wound: “Delphine Cormier was shot dead in the Dyad parking garage. Tell Sarah it’s over. Or Beth died for nothing.”

And that’s it. Any hope of a cure for the sestras’ condition is gone. Kendall is dead. Delphine is dead (maybe? I bet not). And Clone Club seemingly has no cards left to play. As I said, brutal. But not really fulfilling. There was no “wow” or “oh my god” moment in this episode.

The Great:

The fakeout with Ira. I fell for it, too, just like Sarah.

Krystal’s marvelous inability to understand why “Inspector Dawkins” was English if he’s from Scotland Yard.

The climactic scene in the field. It was framed and paced extremely well.

The Not-So-Great:

Let me get this straight: There’s yet another Big Bad to deal with? No sooner do we think we’ve reached the top of the Neolution/Dyad/BrightBorn pyramid than we find out that Evil Cho is really calling the shots.

The WTF:

I understand the need for super-secrecy, but is Scott really delicately harvesting cells on a table in Felix’s studio? Dude! You don’t know who’s been ON that table!

Okay, so this incredibly important research that Scott and Cosima were conducting that could literally save Cosima’s life wasn’t even backed up???  That’s an oversight that Krystal or Alison would make. Not Cosima.

By the same token, Scott and Cosima didn’t make sure to harvest any of Kendall’s cells prior to the Susan Duncan meeting? They knew what she wanted, and more importantly, they knew they couldn’t trust Susan/Neolution. Clone Club made a bunch of uncharacteristically dumb moves this episode, which is maddening because the stupidity was Because Plot Reasons, and not anything particularly believable.

So, after two episodes of “is Adele really Felix’s sister,” she just kind of disappears stage left. Again, there better have been a point to Adele’s introduction, and a really good one, because at this point everything involving her and Felix smacks of little more than timewasting episode filler.

Orphan Black Season 4, Episode 5 Recap: Krystal Klear, Baby

We’ve been throwing around the word “Cronenbergian” to describe the action on Orphan Black quite a bit this season, and for good reason. For the past three seasons, the show’s been mostly a sci-fi thriller series, with occasional dalliances into horror. This season, though? Much like one of its main themes – evolution – the show’s started evolving into something much more unsettling, becoming more of a horror thriller with some underlying sci-fi elements instead. And it’s not just the big shock elements, either. There’s an uneasiness permeating even the most normal scenes, of people just talking, or sharing a meal together, or doing something that should be just mundane.

In that regard, Orphan Black’s becoming a lot like Twin Peaks, taking on David Lynch’s penchant for making the ordinary quite profoundly disturbing at times. It’s hard to tell at the moment whether this tonal shift in Orphan Black’s narrative is something that’s just for this particular story arc, or for this season, or represents a more significant shift in the show’s overall theme … either way, showrunners Graeme Manson and John Fawcett deserve a lot of credit for pushing the boundaries of the show, and not just playing things safe as the seasons progress.

The latest episode – “Human Raw Material” – doesn’t quite open with anything horrifying, though. Instead, we get clone Krystal, still a bubbly beautician with a fondness for anything pink … but there’s a little bit of an edge to her now. She’s training in kickboxing and self-defense – turns out that her encounters with the Castor twins last season have left a mark on her, and she’s determined to find out who they were, and just what’s going on.

Moving on to someone who does know what’s going on (sort of), Sarah learns that Geneconnexion – the genetic matching company that brought Felix and his biological sister Adele together – is owned by Neolution. She brings along Kira as she tries once more to talk to him about Adele, but Adele happens to be there, wihich complicates things. Also complicating things is that Adele is really, really sweet with Kira. Nothing gets resolved, there’s a lot of uncomfortable tension, and Sarah winds up leaving with surreptitiously secured DNA samples from Felix and Adele so Scott can independently test them for her.

Meanwhile, Alison’s supposed to be infiltrating BrightBorn with Donnie, but she has other plans, so Cosima winds up being Donnie’s fake surrogate baby momma-to-be instead. Considering she can actually follow all of the biological technical talk at the place, it makes sense. She tries breaking off to do some snooping, but isn’t terribly successful at first. What she is inadvertently successful at is running into Susan Duncan (whom she doesn’t recognize!) and talk through some of the science of what BrightBorn is doing … and its ethics, or lack thereof. Cosima’s adamant that gene manipulations of embryos is a Super Bad Idea. Susan smirks and doesn’t care.

Suddenly complicating things is the surprising arrival of Krystal at the doors of BrightBorn while Cosima and Donnie are already there. Awkward!

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Turns out that the Clone Club decision last year to keep Krystal blissfully ignorant of Neolution wasn’t exactly the greatest idea. Since Krystal’s been left to her own devices, she’s come up with a half-baked crackpot conspiracy theory about what’s actually going on with Neolution and its various subsidiaries, which is painfully wrong, but also contains just enough hints of what’s right to keep her on the right track. In other words, she’s a loose cannon who could potentially do a lot of damage to her unknown sestras. And she certainly manages to freak Donnie the hell out when he finally lays eyes on her.

Over to Sarah, who’s sitting down to dinner with Kira and Mrs. S at their safehouse. Felix stops by, bringing along Adele. Not cool, Felix. Tensions immediately rise to Twin Peaks Palmer Family Dinner levels, with Sarah and Felix sniping at each other and getting progressively nastier until Felix actually starts throwing food at Sarah. It’s incredibly uncomfortable, and looks like it’s about to really spin out of control when Scott calls Sarah’s cell phone. Sarah listens, and then tells Felix that she had his DNA tested against Adele’s. Yes, according to Scott, Sarah says, the Geneconnexion results were right – Felix and Adele are biologically related. That revelation makes everything just as uncomfortable as it was before.

(I’m not convinced that Scott actually told Sarah that, by the way. Judging from the long pause before she tells Felix that tidbit of information, and the pained expression on Sarah’s face, it seems quite possible that she just didn’t want to add gasoline to an already raging fire.)

Back at BrightBorn, Cosima’s made progress in her investigation. Putting on scrubs, she’s managed to snoop around at last, taking pictures and collecting information. A doctor comes in – hey, can you help us deliver this baby – and Cosima finds herself looking at the ugly underside of BrightBorn, as she helps deliver GAAAAAHHHH HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT THING!!!!!! Sweet merciful crap, it’s the baby from Eraserhead, in all its malformed, hideous glory! All the speeches about ethics made by Cosima earlier come to fruition in one horrifying scene – and then Susan comes in, revealing her identity at last to Cosima. Uh-oh.

While that’s going on, Donnie tries to lead Krystal out of the way and off to safety, posing as masseuse, um, “Ronnie.” Zero points for originality, “Ronnie.” He manages to coax out of Krystal why she’s there, and that she thinks she’s the Snowden in a grand conspiracy theory. Of course, her conspiracy theory revolves around mutations related to cosmetics, like teeth growing out of people’s eyelids. It would sound weirder and more ludicrous, except this is Orphan Black. So it only sounds slightly weird. Donnie manages to let on that he knows more than he’s letting on, though, which kicks Krystal into Paranoid Mode, and she unleashes those sweet kickboxing moves of hers on Donnie and his groin. Oh, Donnie.

Susan has Cosima captured, but not imprisoned. They debate ethics again, except Susan starts countering with reality. Namely, original DNA source Kendall. Cosima says handing over Kendall to Neolution isn’t an option, but Susan points out that a lot of gene therapy could take place if they did have Kendall. And part of that therapy could include a cure for Cosima. Cosima’s lack of response to that speaks volumes.

Finally, some alone time for Sarah and Kira. In this week’s Stephen King moment, Kira reveals that she can sense the emotions of Sarah and her sestras, including “ones she doesn’t even know.” It’s an interesting reveal, even if it’s not terribly original. We’ll see how this plays out.

And having let Cosima go to consider her options, Susan Duncan goes for a swim at the BrightBorn pool, where Castor Clone Ira is waiting for her. She gloats, he smiles, and then … they start sucking face. Ewwwwwwwww, for three reasons. First of all, ewwwwwwwww. And that’s not because Susan’s much older than Ira; it’s that she’s for all practical purposes his mother. Second of all, Susan’s been shown thus far as being all about hardcore science – compromising scientific integrity for the sake of getting a Castor booty call seems more than a bit out of character. And third of all, ewwwwwwwww.

The Great:

Alison, on what Cosima should do once she infiltrates BrightBorn with Donnie: “I don’t know, Sarah things. Skulk around, look miserable, con people.”

“Is that a rocket ship?” Um, no, Kira. No, it is most certainly not.

“I look like a geriatric skateboarder.” “I have to go … shit.” And Donnie’s patronizing explanation to Cosima about how not to act like a lesbian, which leads to her dry “I’m just going to let that one slide” retort. Donnie rules.

The Not-So-Great:

Helena being MIA, except for a quick good-bye text to Sarah. Booooooo.

I know Sarah’s got a lot going on, but her bitchiness to Alison is kind of out of left field. Alison doesn’t pull her weight? Um, who’s financing the majority of Clone Club’s activities? I’m pretty sure it’s the Hendrixes. And I found it even stranger that Alison didn’t throw that right back in Sarah’s face.

I’m really not sure what the point of the whole Adele storyline is. If Adele is some sort of Neolution operative, or represents something/someone else with Very Bad Plans, then she’s so obviously a bad guy – and should be to every in Clone Club, with the exception of the emotionally blindered Felix – that it’s almost laughable. There seems like there could be so many better ways to handle that character, and that type of storyline. And if she’s not someone with Very Bad Plans – and is genuinely who she says she is – then it’s not terribly interesting, or advancing the story much. Let’s hope this is all setup for something completely out of left field in an episode or two, and not just this year’s version of “Alison Needs Something To Do So School Elections.”

The WTF:

Wait, repeated mentions by Krystal of “the blonde French doctor.” It’s possible that Delphine’s alive???

Susan Duncan and Ira. Again, ewwwwwwwww. The Flowers in the Clone Attic vibe goes WAY beyond creepy.

Hey, Master, You’re So Fine: Ranking the Incarnations of the Master in “Doctor Who”

In a season that proved to be brilliant in so many ways, one of the highlights of Doctor Who this past year was the return of Missy – or, as the character’s usually been called through many, many appearances on the show, the Master. Fighting the Doctor (and saving him, when she’s not busy trying to kill him), fighting Daleks, simultaneously helping and tormenting Clara – Missy reminds the audience with mad style why she and her previous incarnations have always been the Doctor’s best frenemy. (Even if Davros might have something to say about that.)

But is Missy the best incarnation of the Master? Come find out! Here, we take a look at all of the regenerations of the evil Time Lord to grace the televised episodes of Doctor Who, ranking them from worst to best.

7. Eric Roberts

I always dress for the occasion!

Yes, the star of such classic films like Best of the Best, Part 2, Sorority Slaughterhouse, and High Heels, Low Standards once was cast as the Master. And yes, it was a trainwreck. The sad thing is, everything starts out okay – he’s originally Bruce, the EMT driver, who the Master’s ‘essence’ possesses, and that’s not too bad. But then, he becomes Terminator Master.

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Um, okay.

And then, Camp Megalomaniac Master, by way of the School of David Caruso Overacting.

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Riiiiiiiiggggghhht.

He’s not menacing. He’s not evil. He’s a joke. And given how good Paul McGann is as the Eighth Doctor in this wretched abomination of a story, it’s a shame.

SimmMaster6. John Simm

Anyway, why don’t we stop and have a nice little chat where I tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me, I don’t think!

More of a shame is John Simm’s wasted run as the Master during David Tennant’s tenure as the Tenth Doctor. A brilliant actor – one need look no further than his brilliance on Life on Mars to see that – his performance as the Master starts out ridiculously well, right from the aftermath of his regeneration. The look of malevolent glee on his face as he wakes up, and realizes that he’s got the Doctor’s hand, and the TARDIS, and he’s won …

… it’s brilliant. And the gloating is well-deserved.

From there, though, it goes downhill. As he becomes Prime Minister Saxon (a storyline that honestly makes no sense), he goes from sinister to this weird, smug, frenetic “I’M EVIL!!!” mentality – it’s like he’s trying to out-manic the Tenth Doctor, and it doesn’t work. And that super-hyper “I’M EVIL!!!” portrayal carries right on over into his later appearances in “The End of Time.” I think if he’d gotten the chance to be cold and calculating – the yang to Tennant’s yin – he could’ve been great as the Master. As it is, he unfortunately just chewed a lot of scenery.

AinleyMaster5. Anthony Ainley

Peoples of the Universe, please attend carefully. The message that follows is vital to the future of you all. The choice for you all is simple; a continued existence under my guidance or total annihilation.

There’s a pattern here. Namely, first performances of a new Master that start out great, with things only getting worse from there. And for the most part, that’s true of Anthony Ainley’s turn as the Master. Taking on Consul Tremas’ body in “The Keeper of Traken,” his Master is absolutely superb in his next two stories – the Fourth Doctor’s swan song in “Logopolis,” and the Fifth Doctor’s debut in “Castrovalva.” He manages to combine the panache and the charisma of Delgado’s Master with the at-times unhinged insanity of Peter Pratt and Geoffrey Beavers … and it works. He’s more dangerous than his original incarnation.

After that, though? It’s a mess. When the Rani says in “Mark of the Rani” that “he’d get dizzy if he tried to walk in a straight line,” it’s a fairly accurate description of most of Ainley’s appearances as the Master. Lots of over-complicated, usually pointless evil plots that don’t make any sense, lots of metaphorical mustache twirling, gloating, and monologuing that would make Syndrome from The Incredibles proud. The dangerous Master we glimpsed in “Castrovalva” turns up all the dials to 11, and shoots straight into over-the-top bombast for the rest of his appearances with the Fifth and Sixth Doctors. He’s not menacing or dangerous, but just kind of an evil buffoon with delusions of grandeur … and it’s disappointing, to say the least.

Oddly enough, though, in Ainley’s last televised appearance as the Master in “Survival,” he dials back the Snidely Whiplash Overdrive Mode long enough to give what’s probably his best – and most chilling – performance. Infected by the Cheetah People, the Master’s no longer interested in crazy schemes and chewing scenery – he’s instead stripped down to something primal, and it’s fascinating to watch.

If he’d only been more like this throughout his time as the Master, I think Ainley would be remembered as one of the character’s best incarnations. Instead, we only have some glimpses and moments of a great villain – and, unfortunately, far more moments of a “meh” one.

JacobiMaster4. Derek Jacobi

Oh! Now I can say I was provoked!

For a Master who realistically only appears in two scenes of one episode, man, does Derek Jacobi own the role. He spends most of the episode “Utopia” in the chameleon arc-created persona of kindly, doddering Professor Yana, trying to help the remnants of humanity escape the clutches of the Futurekind. Upon switching off the chameleon arc, though, he reverts to his true form – the Master – and watching him so effortlessly switch from to “meek and mild” to “badass ruthless” in the blink of an eye is nothing short of amazing. For less than ten minutes, Jacobi’s Master takes control of the situation in “Utopia” and just utterly owns the Tenth Doctor.

It’s terrific to watch, and it’s a shame that this incarnation of the Master was so brief. (One can only hope that Big Finish somehow manages to work him in as the Doctor’s nemesis in their stories someday!)

PrattMaster3. Peter Pratt/Geoffrey Beavers

Predictable as ever, Doctor.

When the Master disappeared at the end of “Frontier in Space,” most regular Who viewers must’ve believed that would be the last they’d see of the evil renegade Time Lord. (Roger Delgado’s tragic death at this time certainly would’ve made this an understandable notion.) So it must’ve come as some surprise several years later during Tom Baker’s tenure as the Fourth Doctor that the Master reappeared.

But the Master certainly didn’t look as he did before, appearing instead as a hideous, rotting husk of a person. And gone was the suave, confident charm of Roger Delgado’s Master, replaced instead by pure, vicious rage. “Only hate keeps me alive,” he tells the Doctor at one point … and the words are spit with such venom, it’s chilling to hear them spoken. It’s a far cry from what the Master had been during Delgado’s time in the part, but it works perfectly, and Peter Pratt’s voice alone makes the character incredible to watch – and to listen to.

This version of the Master appears again a few years later as a foil for the Fourth Doctor in “The Keeper of Traken,” with Geoffrey Beavers replacing Peter Pratt in this incarnation of the role. He doesn’t quite have the menace of Peter Pratt in “The Deadly Assassin,” but honestly, that’s mostly because his makeup in “The Keeper of Traken” is a pale shadow of what was seen in that earlier story. But he’s still creepy and menacing, and his insane desperation to survive – and make the Fourth Doctor suffer – is still brilliantly nasty. (His more recent appearances in the Big Finish audio productions have been equally wonderful and nasty as well.)

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Say something nice.

Even though many avid Who viewers assumed that “Missy” might be the Master from the moment she appeared at the end of the Twelfth Doctor’s first episode, “Deep Breath,” it’s unlikely that anyone could’ve predicted just how great she’d be. She manages to take the unhinged, unpredictable insanity often seen in Ainley’s and Simm’s Masters, but keeps it from turning into camp, as they seemed to do all too often. If anything, she flips the “bananas” trope on its head at times – you get the feeling that her homicidally wacky behavior is often an act, and she’s far more calculating and devious – and in control – than she’s letting on.

Make no mistake, though – she’s definitely bananas.

However, one subtle nuance that Missy’s brought back to the ongoing Doctor/Master relationship is the friendship – such as it is – that she has with the Doctor. This comes across loud and clear in “The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar,” where it’s evident that they have a deep, rich past together, and however strange that history may be, they have great respect for one another. It’s a reminder of why the Doctor’s always seeking to redeem his mortal enemy, rather than defeat him, and why – while Missy/the Master always wants to eventually kill the Doctor – there’s a certain admiration that keeps her from, well, popping him like a balloon. Missy’s a terrific addition to the modern Who pantheon of villains, and I hope we keep seeing her in seasons to come.

DelgadoMaster1. Roger Delgado

I am the Master … and you will obey me.

Sometimes first appearances are indeed the best. So it should really be no surprise that the reason all of the other various Masters throughout the history of Doctor Who are held to such a high standard is because of how utterly brilliant the originator of the role actually was. Roger Delgado – cast to be the Moriarty to Jon Pertwee’s Third Doctor – is nothing short of outstanding in just about every appearance he made on Doctor Who. (And there were quite a lot of them – Delgado’s Master is in every single episode of Jon Pertwee’s second season as the Doctor, and frequently in the two seasons after that!)

Charming, suave, and brilliant, Delgado’s Master was much the equal of the Third Doctor in every way. His schemes were grand and his ambition boundless, and it’s always entertaining to watch his character execute those mad plans with style. He also got the upper hand against the Doctor many, many times, and while he never ultimately succeeded in his schemes, he certainly scored plenty of smaller victories against the Third Doctor and U.N.I.T. along the way. And some of his failures were the result of his own ego and arrogance, rather than the Doctor outwitting him.

One of the big differences between Delgado’s Master and all of his other successors was his pragmatism. He wasn’t always out to conquer the universe, or kill the Doctor (although he certainly wasn’t adverse to those goals!). Sometimes, his goals were smaller. And much like the Rani would be in later years, there were many times he really didn’t care about the Doctor at all – it would only be when the Doctor would show up and interfere with his own Machiavellian schemes that the Master would try to kill the Doctor.

But there were plenty of times that he cooperated with the Doctor (sometimes willingly, sometimes not), and even with U.N.I.T., if it served his own interests. His Master wasn’t so much insanely evil so much as simply lacking a conscience, and that’s perhaps a distinction that elevates his Master above all the others. He had an immense amount of respect for the Doctor, though he was loathe to admit it. And even Jo Grant, the Brigadier, and yes, even Captain Yates and Sergeant Benton – they all got a nod of admiration from the Master here and there.

Make no mistake, though. Of all the Masters, his was the most ruthless. And he most certainly wanted the Doctor dead.

Roger Delgado’s Master is a joy to watch. The most insanely evil? No. The most villainous? Possibly. The most fun? Probably.

The best?

Absolutely.

-Mike

Seven Big Questions After Captain America: Civil War

Marvel Studios’ Captain America: Civil War recently premiered to hugely positive reactions and a stunning box office. It’s also really, really good. We were promised a game-changer in this early “Phase 3” of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Marvel certainly delivered.

So where does this leave the key characters in the film? What impact might the conflict have on the lead-up to Avengers: Infinity War (or whatever its title will be)? Might we even see this play out in the Netflix series? The Brains of Morbius take a look.

NOTE: The rest of the post will be SPOILER HEAVY. If you haven’t seen Captain America: Civil War yet, go now! It’s excellent! We’ll be here when you’re done. Moving on….

…pause…

…pause…

…we’re running low on Vibranium – let’s get to it!

1. What’s the status of the Avengers now?

One of the best things about Captain America: Civil War is that it doesn’t neatly wrap up the conflict after they tell each other their mother’s first name. The Avengers are well and truly shattered at the film’s end, and there’s no clear path forward, especially for Team Iron Man. Sure, Steve tells Tony, “The Avengers are yours,” but what’s left? The Black Widow is on the run, War Machine is partially crippled, the Vision is wracked with guilt, Spider-Man has to go to school, and the Black Panther is back in Wakanda, where he’s hiding the Winter Soldier! So he’s out, too.

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Ironically, Tony Stark – the man whose intense desire to retire led to Ultron’s creation and his agreement to the Accords – may have no choice but to keep wearing the suit. Sorry, Pepper.

Team Cap is in better shape in some ways. Cap busts Falcon, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, and Ant-Man out of the Raft at the film’s end, and they’ll likely be joined by the Black Widow to do – what? Presumably, they’ll continue tackling the big threats to the world, yet they’ll constantly be on the run from the world’s governments. (That’s a bummer in particular for Hawkeye and Ant-Man, who can’t return to their families.) Hmmmm…. Secret Avengers, anyone?

2. Have relationships been irrevocably destroyed?

In the case of Steve and Tony… it’s not good. Steve’s note – in which he apologizes to Tony and admits he should’ve told the truth about the death of Tony’s parents – is a step forward. But every time Tony looks at Rhodey or thinks about his parents, he’s going to be reminded of the cost of the conflict and Steve’s role in that. Forgiveness will not come easily.

Scarlet Witch

“No, Vision… THIS is how you add paprika!”

The relationship between Scarlet Witch and the Vision, though, is salvageable. They did become a romantic item in the comics (leading to some of the weirdest plot developments in Marvel history), and the beginnings of that are evident in this film. The Vision’s “distraction” directly leads to Rhodey’s near-fatal injury. His analysis of his surprising feelings toward her undoubtedly will carry into later films.

3. What impact will the Sokovia Accords have on Marvel’s other films and TV shows?

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. wasted no time in saying that the Accords will apply to Coulson’s team of Inhuman agents, although the alternative to signing sounded more like incarceration than forced retirement, which would be closer to the comics’ version of Civil War.

For the Netflix shows, things could get very interesting. One of the early episodes in Season 2 of Daredevil had a minor teaser for Civil War, where one character (Marci) refers to growing national and international concerns about super-powered individuals. Will government officials come knocking on Jessica Jones’ always-broken door? Expect to see Luke Cage trying to keep a low profile (and probably failing) in his series this fall.

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Jessica Jones has waited patiently during a less-than-stellar Daredevil Season 2.

Also in the fall is the next Marvel Studios film, Doctor Strange. While Dr. Strange’s talents will all come from magic, not science, that won’t matter much to the world’s governments – if they find out about him. Still, since Strange operates on a VERY different playing field, don’t expect more than a quick reference to the Accords in this film.

After that are movies with the Black Panther, Spider-Man, and (finally) Captain Marvel. Black Panther will likely mention the Accords quite a bit, given Wakanda’s role in their creation and the strong likelihood that the Winter Soldier will guest-star in this film. We already know that Robert Downey Jr. will appear in Spider-Man: Homecoming, so repercussions from the Avengers split should feature prominently there, too. And since Carol Danvers starts off as a military officer before becoming Captain Marvel, her attitude toward the Accords could be a key plot point.

4. Where will Thanos fit into all this?

Thanos

Thanos, Marvel’s top cosmic villain whose hunt for the six Infinity Stones has been seeded throughout the films, will eventually have everything he needs to power up the reality-controlling Infinity Gauntlet. We know that the next Avengers film will be in two parts, arriving in May 2018 and May 2019. Expect Part 1 to feature more internal Avengers conflict as Thanos’ threat becomes apparent, possibly ending with an “Avengers Assemble” moment in the cliffhanger.

5. Who will be in the next Avengers film?

Probably everyone who was in Captain America: Civil War to start! Thanos’ cosmic connection (and his link to Drax) likely means that at least one of the Guardians of the Galaxy will appear, too. Also, the Russo Brothers recently let slip that Captain Marvel is in the cast, and probably Thor and the Hulk as well. What about Doctor Strange? Maybe. The Netflix heroes? Highly unlikely. Howard the Duck? Make it happen!

6. And what might their status be AFTER the next Avengers film?

When the second part of the Avengers two-parter is released in May 2019, the Marvel Cinematic Universe will be 11 years old. Think about that, True Believers. Robert Downey Jr. will have been Iron Man for that whole stretch, and he’ll be 54. Although Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Scarlet Johansson will still be in their thirties, it’ll be time for a change. Whether some of the characters die or choose to retire (along with their actors), we’ll see the old guard of Avengers making way for Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Spider-Man, Vision, Scarlet Witch, and maybe Ant-Man and the Wasp, with hopefully at least one founding Avenger continuing. That brings us to….

7. Why the hell hasn’t Marvel Studio greenlit a Black Widow movie?

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We’re confused, too, Scarlett.

The marketing campaign for Captain America: Civil War was superb. “Choose your side!” Millions of us on social media were urged to pick #TeamCap or #TeamIronMan. After seeing the movie, though, the Brains of Morbius are squarely #TeamBlackWidow. Natasha Romanoff is a focal point of this film. She’s the audience’s guide to everything that’s going on and she’s also – ironically since she’s a trained assassin – the movie’s moral compass.

When the group privately discusses the Sokovia Accords for the first time, she immediately says yes – not because she agrees with the Accord’s objectives but because it’s the only way to keep the team together. That’s when you realize how important the Avengers are to her. It’s the first time in her life that she actually has a family. She cares about each of them, and she joins Steve at Peggy’s funeral because she doesn’t want him to be alone. During the huge airport battle, the first thing she says to Hawkeye is, “We’re still friends, right?”

It’s only when she finally accepts that Captain America isn’t going to stop fighting that she pulls back and switches sides. Let’s give plenty of credit to the writers, Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely, for giving Natasha the intelligence that a super-spy should have: The Black Widow doesn’t stick around in the airport fight for long. Black Widow emojiJust as in The Avengers, she’s aware she can’t match the raw power of her teammates. So she goes to the spot where she knows that Cap and Bucky have to end up: the Quinjet. And she waits, like a spider in the web. Terrific.

Also, this isn’t a case of the Black Widow being a double agent and playing both sides – and she rightly bites Tony’s head off when he accuses her of that. She simply wants to keep the family together, and when that becomes impossible, she does what she can to minimize the damage.

Captain America: Civil War is a great showcase for Black Panther and Spider-Man. It also shows more than ever than a Black Widow solo film would kick ass. Considering that Scarlett Johansson possesses proven box-office strength and is a fine actor to boot, there has never been a good reason for Marvel Studios to punt on this. In the year 2016 it’s flatly ridiculous that Marvel still hasn’t released a film starring one of their excellent female heroes.

Good news: Marvel Studios’ head, Kevin Feige, recently said Marvel is “committing” to a Black Widow movie… whatever that means. Make that movie, Kevin. She deserves it, and so do we.

Orphan Black Season 4, Episode 4 Recap: Ferdinand’s Cooking with Gas

After the gruesome, funny events of Episode 3, it’s not surprising that Episode 4 (“From Instinct to Rational Control”) takes a bit of a breather – and gives Tatiana Maslany a few extra minutes to rest. Oh sure, she’s still all over the episode, but the star players this week are the Dream Team of Donnie and Felix – and everyone’s favorite droll assassin, Ferdinand!

Allow me to step back and convey my man-crush on actor James Frain. Whether he’s playing a feckless corporate exec (24), a supernatural hitman (Grimm), or a dual-personality crime boss (who remembers The Cape? I do!), Frain has a terrific talent: He makes amorality fun. And now that Ferdinand is relatively unfettered, Frain has been especially fun this year, showing off Ferdinand’s “happier” self while keeping his lethality intact – except for one really dumb moment. We’ll get to that.

First, let’s cover all the Maggot-Bot Mania. Cosima and Scott unwrap the gnarliest package of all: the super-slimy, super-stinky head of Dr. Leekie, which somehow continues to look like Matt Frewer. (He’s a very thin man.) They’re going to dig out his maggot-bot, which is still alive because it’s been feeding on a tumor in his face. OHHHHHHHHHHHH! The Cronenbergian amazement continues when we get to see the maggot-bot up close: It’s a friggin’ bug cyborg, complete with artificial head and stinger!

Cosima and Scott try to determine its purpose. After all, if removing it would also kill the host, its task must be something pretty big, right? They find the answer: radical gene therapy. The maggot-bot modifies its host’s DNA. That’s damn creepy – even Borg-like. In last week’s recap, Mike asked a very good question: Why would Neolution/Dyad put a maggot-bot in the head of its, um, head? We might have an answer. Was Dr. Leekie’s DNA being modified, possibly without his knowledge? And if so, to what end? More importantly, what is Sarah’s maggot-bot doing to her DNA? How many more times can I type “maggot-bot”? PLENTY.

This discovery ties in nicely with the second plot thread: Donnie and Felix going undercover as a gay couple in order to get info on the suspicious fertility clinic. Wonderfully, Donnie almost blows the whole thing, because his impression of a gay man seems heavily inspired by episodes of Three’s Company. Felix warns him, “Stop mincing.” Since both of them volunteer to donate sperm, Donnie goes into a bathroom and is given a stack of – gay men’s magazines. But how will he be able to, ah, donate? Why, phone sex with Alison, naturally! They replay their fantasy of the Passenger and the Italian Flight Attendant. “Do you need help with your buckle?” Success!

Eventually, with Alison’s help (of the non-phone-sex kind), they learn about the clinic’s secret, oh-so-successful program that works when no other artificial insemination program will: Brightborn Technologies, which has an eerie, Hanso Foundation feel to it (for you Lost fans). Their motto: “We’re making the world a better place, one baby at a time.” Ahhhhh. Can you say “radical gene therapy”?

The last key plot thread has to do with Sarah, MK, Mrs. S, and Ferdinand, and he is THRILLED when he’s brought to the Clone Club Secret Hideout down the Rabbit Hole. His first reaction: “A chef’s kitchen! Who’s hungry?” Sarah won’t tell him the identity of her Deep Throat (a.k.a. MK), but he’s willing to play along. He also has a nice chat with Mrs. S, and we learn that in his own strange way, he loves Rachel! He envisions going off with her to a tropical island for a few romantic months … before coming back to kill all his enemies. How can you not like this guy? Meanwhile, MK – who has Mad Hacking Skillz, which is seemingly a necessity in every series these days – learns that Sarah is palling around with the infamous Ferdinand, and she’s not happy about it.

In fact, she is SO NOT HAPPY about it that, while Sarah and Dizzy sneak around inside MK’s trailer, MK is hacking Sarah’s phone to send a text message to Ferdinand and lure him to a trap at Beth’s apartment.

Now here’s the really dumb thing I mentioned earlier: Ferdinand idiotically SITS DOWN IN THE BOOBY-TRAPPED CHAIR, even though his Spider-Sense should have been tingling once he realized that Sarah wasn’t the one who set up the meeting. It’s very disappointing when writers make smart characters do dumb things solely for the sake of advancing the plot. This syndrome is otherwise known as The Walking Dead. But I digress.

We learn that MK actually has solid reasons for wanting Ferdinand dead. He had killed MK’s best friend (and sestra) Niki and started the fire that badly scarred one side of MK’s face. “You killed six of my sisters and 32 of my friends!” Yeahhhhh, that’s going to get someone mad. Before she can immolate Ferdinand, however, Sarah pops up and pleads for his life: He’s a dirtbag, but he’s a dirtbag we need right now. MK still has the advantage, though, and she forces Ferdinand to transfer $3.7 million from his offshore accounts (his Tryst With Rachel fund) to her, before she leaves him still in the booby-trapped chair, but alive. Mrs. S is able to get him out, and Rachel tells him they’re even now; she doesn’t owe him anything. Ferdinand is now in need of a new suit.

Overall, a satisfactory episode, largely redeemed by Donnie, Felix, and Ferdinand. The rest of the characters were kind of in a holding pattern, although that may change now that we know the maggot-bots’ purpose, if not the goal.

The Great:

“That’s the head of Dyad.” Yes. Yes, it is.

“Ferdinand’s frittatas” would be a great band name.

Everything about Donnie & Alison’s phone sex. “Is that your Leaning Tower?”

Helena deciding to leave House Hendrix because Alison is freaky over her pregnancy. It’s a sad moment, but from a character standpoint, it’s good. But what about Boyfriend?!

The Not-So-Great:

Every scene with Wednesday Charlotte, Rachel, and Mommy Dearest. It’s no longer interesting, and having another friggin’ Castor Clone in the mix doesn’t help.

Ferdinand’s convenient stupidity, as described above.

The WTF:

The close-up of the maggot-bot with its biomechanical parts! Holy Brundlefly, Batman!

Beth has been dead – or at least known dead – for nearly three years. And her apartment STILL doesn’t have a new tenant? Boy, her neighborhood must suck. Someone call the Property Brothers!

Orphan Black Season 4, Episode 3 Recap: Oh, Cheeky Leeky

Now this is getting to the Orphan Black that we know and love. Great turns by all the clones? Check. Weird mysteries that move along from episode to episode, where we actually get some answers to what’s going on? Weirdness and grossness? Check. Some genuine laugh-out-loud moments? Double check. There’s a lot of awesomeness in this episode to savor … just don’t stop to think about things too much, though, since some of it doesn’t make much sense.

“The Stigmata of Progress” – the third episode of Orphan Black’s fourth season – opens with … hey, Rachel! Good to see you and your eyepatch! Looks like you’re being examined by … aw, fudge, as Alison might say. It’s a Castor. His name is Ira, and while he seems to be a bit more scholarly than his testosterone-laden brothers, he’s no less creepy and annoying. Rachel doesn’t seem to be a big fan, either. She’s also not a fan of still undergoing therapy from her pencil lobotomy, or by still being essentially a prisoner of Susan Duncan. Her only ally, it seems, is sorta-daughter clone Wednesday Addams Charlotte, who despite being a child, has really good insight into what’s going on.

Anyway, Rachel’s figured out that the search for Kendall/Sarah/Kira’s not going well. She’s also figured out that she’s not leaving her therapy sessions anytime soon, so she makes sure that Wednesday Charlotte – who, thanks to online homeschooling, has access to a computer – can send some messages for her to the outside world. Specifically, to Topside.

Cut to Sarah, who’s reacting to her implanted maggot-bot the same way most normal people would – how the hell can she get it out, and how fast? She goes to the Comic Cave, where Cosima and Scott can make some guesses as to what it might or might not be, but can’t figure out anything definitive. Cosima says she’d need to examine an intact maggot-bot from a Prolethean to really get a good handle on it. This tidbit of information gets over to Alison and Donnie, who look at each other and realize they already have a conveniently dead Prolethean buried under six feet of concrete in their garage. “Now go rent a jackhammer, Donnie!”

Sarah and Mrs. S, meanwhile, care far less about the nefarious purpose of the maggot-bot, and stay focused on just getting the damn thing removed. Sarah initially goes to Felix to get some back-up, but finds her stepbrother suddenly bonding with Adele, his related-by-blood long lost sister who’s conveniently just arrived in town! Surprise! And it turns out that while she’s blonde and Southern (unlike Felix), she’s also something of a freespirited casual-sex-and-drug-and-drinker (very much like Felix). Um, okay. We went from “I want to find my real family” to “bonding with my sister, who’s now my new BFF” in record time.

Even Sarah thinks this is too bizarre to be believable, and points out what everyone in the audience is already thinking – hey, Felix, maybe your new Sister Dearest is a Neolution spy. This understandably pisses off Felix, who tells Sarah to make like a tree and get lost.

Back to Alison and Donnie. Turns out decomposing bodies don’t smell good when you unbury them. And while they’re busy unburying Leekie in the garage, two police officers stop by the Hendrix household, wanting to know about the election signs they found with a bunch of dead drug dealers. Helena, pregnant professional assassin who knows a lot about those dead drug dealers, answers the door. Realizing what’s going on, she switches into her atrocious impersonation of Alison and lets the police in. Donnie tries to come to her rescue, but Helena manages to steer her way through the questioning of the police without too many problems. (Although she answers a couple of questions to which she really shouldn’t know the answers – either Helena has an eidetic memory for detail, or maybe there’s some sort of subconscious telepathic link to Alison and her other sestras. Given how this episode’s going, I’m betting on the latter.)

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With that crisis averted, Donnie and Alison touch base with Cosima, and tell her that they have a maggot-bot sample. From Dr. Leekie. And oh, by the way, Donnie killed Dr. Leekie. Oopsies. Cosima rolls with this as best she can.

Working solo, Sarah tracks down Dizzy, the drug dealer who mistook Sarah for MK. He gives her the name of the guy in his gruesome maggot-bot video – Alonzo Martinez – and with Art’s help, Sarah learns that Mr. Martinez recently visited a local dental clinic. When Sarah sneaks into the clinic later that day, one of the dental assistants there hisses at “Beth” to chill out and cut out the spy act. Sarah realizes that she’s found one of Beth’s Neolution informants, and asks the dental assistant to help remove her own maggot-bot after hours.

Except after hours, our not-so-friendly assistant start poking around Sarah’s cheek, and cheerfully tells her that if she makes any sudden moves, the bot gets punctured and she dies. Oh, and Neolution high-muckety-mucks are on their way. Fortunately for Sarah, help comes in the form of Ferdinand, who slits Not So Friendly’s throat. Turns out the combination of Rachel’s SOS notes from Wednesday Charlotte – and Mrs. S’s inquires for black market surgeons – tipped off Topside as to what was going on.

Really good episode. Not sure we’ve gotten a lot in terms of explanations – yet – but this season’s rolling, and off to a strong start. We also have all of Clone Club roughly on the same page and working together, which is great (unlike last season, where Alison’s storyline often seemed adrift and unconnected to everything else). Felix’s “find my family” thread is the only weak story strand so far, but we’ll give it time.

The Great:

Rachel and Wednesday Charlotte, communicating via painted messages to avoid anyone “listening” in on them. Fantastic stuff.

Just about every scene containing Alison and Donnie. Seriously, I would watch a sitcom just about them (and their wacky homicidally pregnant roommate/sestra Helena) if Orphan Black ever gets cancelled. “It smells like garbage juice.” “She’s a scientist and a lesbian. She’s not going to let it slide.” “Well, we’ll have time to discuss the do’s and don’t’s of certain decisions later.”

And Cosima’s reaction to Alison and Donnie’s matter-of-fact confession of manslaughtering Dr. Leekie is priceless.

The Not-So-Great:

While it’s played for humor … really? The police actually bought Helena posing as Alison? She didn’t even give the lame “I have cold” excuse this time. And Donnie didn’t come into the house reeking (literally) of death? That whole sequence – while hilarious – was kind of a stretch.

If Kira starts rubbing her fingers together and talking to her imaginary friend Tony, I’m going to repeatedly bang a meat tenderizer into my head. Orphan Black does so many fun, clever, original ideas really, really well; wandering into the Stephen King School of Creepy Kids is not one of them. Let’s hope this goes somewhere better than OMG KIRA IS A TELEPATH. (And Wednesday Charlotte appears to be heading down the same path.)

Shit. Ken spoke too soon. We have a Castor Clone sighting! Ira’s sort of … meh. Not terribly annoying yet, unlike his brothers, but I expect with time he will be.

The WTF:

Wednesday Charlotte coughing up blood. Uh-oh.

So, exactly why did Dr. Leekie have a maggot-bot in his cheek? He’s the leader of Neolution. Why would he want something that could kill him instantly imbedded inside his body? That seems like the sort of things you implant in people you don’t like. (And why did it even occur to Alison and Donnie that Leekie might even have one in the first place?)

Art’s obsession with the Beth surveillance videos is edging into super-creepy stalker territory.

–Mike