Not only is this episode, “From Dancing Mice to Psychopaths,” the season finale, it’s the finale to the penultimate season! BBC America announced that Season 5 would be the series’ last, and I’m glad for that. Don’t get me wrong – I love this show! – but there are times during Season 4 where c0-Brain Mike and I wondered if this series was going to start meandering without any sort of endgame in sight. And lo & behold, we have it! We know now that it’ll have: a really NASTY villain; a mysterious puppetmaster who’s possibly immortal (!); and probably a major death or three. Because let me tell you, Season 4 ends on a dark note.

But before that – hey look! Ferdinand’s back! A little poorer (OK, a lot poorer) but not dispirited, he reawakens Rachel’s lust for power via some S&M and bondage. (Somehow, this motivational trend hasn’t yet made the cover of Fast Company.) Now that Evil Cho is out of the way – permanently (death by maggot-bot!) – Rachel drops any pretense of working with Sarah and the rest of Clone Club. She wants Neolution, and she’ll betray anyone to get it. Speaking of betrayal…

Over on the Island of Lost Clones, Mommie Dearest Susan locks up Cosima after their attempt to create new Leda/Castor stem cells succeeds tremendously. For Susan, the search for the cure is important – but not as important as seizing power by restarting the cloning project. Like Rachel, Susan sees an opportunity to pull Neolution back onto the path of cloning supremacy. Unfortunately for Susan, she doesn’t have Rachel’s ruthlessness and self-hatred – and boy, is THAT a wild combo of bad traits! Spitting like Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator, Rachel (a clone herself, mind you) tells Neolution’s board that the testing of clones will not only resume – she intends to push the White Rat metaphor to its nastiest extreme, stripping the new clones of all rights and keeping them locked up. OHHHH, SHE’S CRAZY.

And yes, her bionic eye is still giving her David Lynch Vision – which leads to one of several references in this episode to Neolution’s founder, P.T. Westmoreland, who literally wrote the book (he did! He wrote a book!) on Neolution and genetic theory about 100 years ago. Susan had suggested that Westmoreland himself developed Rachel’s eye, but how could that be if the guy lived decades ago…?

In any event, Sarah and Mrs. S are in the dark about Rachel’s motives until a visit by clone beautician Krystal (and subsequent impersonation of Krystal by Sarah) gives them a chance to quiz new Brightborn big-wig Dr. Van Lier. They realize what Rachel and Susan are up to, and Sarah strong-arms Castor clone Ira into summoning a helicopter to take her to the Island of Lost Clones, where she intends to bring Cosima back, Die Hard style. Yeahhhhhh, about that….

Wednesday Charlotte gets an increasingly ill Cosima out of the locked room and says they have to get to the boat. First, though, they happen to see Rachel viciously stab Susan! Holy Matricide, Batman! Wednesday Charlotte is going to need therapy for that. They quickly leave the house, but a) they’re not sure where they’re going, b) it’s dark and really, really cold, and c) by leaving, they miss bumping into Sarah!

Sarah’s Bruce Willis impersonation lasts about as long as my brain cells during Live Free or Die Hard. She finds a badly injured but still alive Susan, and Rachel takes advantage of her distraction to beat the crap out of Sarah with her cane, stab her in the knee (!), and grab her gun. This would’ve been 30 seconds in a Die Hard film, but it’s understandably traumatic enough to send our hero Sarah scrambling for her life!

Sarah calls Mrs. S for help, but whoops, Ferdinand is already in the Rabbit Hole safe house, keeping an eye (and his gunsights) on both S and Kira. Rachel outmaneuvered Clone Club big time in this episode. The only tiny bright spot is the return of Delphine! Creepy Uncle Joe from Rachel’s visions shows up to save Cosima and Charlotte, and he brings them to — a homeless camp on the Island? With medical equipment? And ominous glances from other bearded people? Where is this, Mulholland Drive? Fortunately, Dr. Delphine brings Cosima back from the brink with her, um, bedside manner.

The season ends with Rachel, now firmly in power, about to have her first audience with … P.T. Westmoreland. Yes, he’s alive! Maybe. Could he be cloning himself over the decades and transferring his memories, ensuring his immortality? Or is a fakeout?

The Good:

It’s great to see Rachel as a villain again. Let’s give the writers credit for slowly building her back up over the course of two years. She’s now very much aware what defeat and humiliation taste like, which makes her deadlier than ever.

I’ve mentioned several times that I’m sick of the Castor clones, but I’ll make an exception if we can get a spinoff featuring Ira, Rachel, and Ferdinand. “Is he wearing socks?”

The Hendrixes hiding out in the woods with Grizzly Helena: Alas, Alison “has the shits.”

Krystal refuses to believe that she has any resemblance to Sarah. Brilliant.

I love it when a clone impersonates another clone. It somehow makes Tatiana Maslany even more amazing.

The Bad:

NOOOOOO, not another “Man Behind the Curtain” trope! Geez McGee, I thought we were done with that after Lost. I don’t mind the concept of an immortal mastermind, but this episode gives us the intro and the payoff in the same hour. No setup. It’s a little too Deathly Hallows-ish.

The WTF:

Why in the world does Sarah go solo to the Island of Lost Clones, when she already knows it’s a hostile situation? It’s crazy. She could’ve left Kira with Felix. There’s no reason for her NOT to have taken Mrs. S with her, since this is the type of situation that S excels in. That’s just, well, dumb.

Next:

That’s it for this year’s recaps, but stay tuned! Mike and I will soon mingle brain cells and discuss our final thoughts on Orphan Black Season 4.

–Ken

Three things come through clearly in “The Redesign of Natural Objects”:

1. For the first time in a while, there’s a sense of hope. It’s tiny, and could vanish in an instant, but it’s there.
2. Don’t mess with Mrs. S.
3. Darkwing Duko plays D&D! Unfortunately, he’s a 3rd-level rogue who walked into a CR 7 encounter. See #2 above.

Let’s deal with these in turn. Item #1: The hope comes from a new idea conjured by Cosima, whose on-again/off-symptoms remind me of how Peter Parker’s Aunt May was either always on death’s door or getting romanced by Dr. Octopus. But I digress. Cosima, newly energized from learning that Delphine may be kinda-sorta alive, gets in touch with ex-Neolution boss Susan Duncan and twitchy sestra Rachel (thanks to M.K.’s super-hacking) and theorizes they could still get the combo Leda/Castor DNA, despite Kendall’s death: What about old-fashioned in vitro fertilization of a Leda egg with Castor sperm?

Naturally, Sarah would need to agree to this, and she does so, only because Cosima is so excited about it and, really, what other choice is there? Cosima is facing a death sentence, otherwise, as might the rest of the sestras – including M.K., whom we see with a nasty nosebleed. Shockingly, the basement of a comic book store isn’t really equipped for such a procedure, so Cosima and a ziploc bag of Sarah eggs will have to travel to Susan’s super-secret retreat. Susan is excited about this; Rachel sees an opportunity to kick out Evil Cho and put Susan (and herself?) back in control of Neolution. That’s not the only thing Rachel sees: Her bionic eye keeps displaying glitching digital visions of a swan (i.e., Leda), including one where it’s beheaded. But hey, everything’s fine!

Item #2: Don’t mess with Mrs. S: It’s obvious to everyone except Orphan Black’s main characters that Mrs. S might have a teeny desire to seek revenge for her mother’s death and go all Jack Bauer on Darkwing Duko’s ass. One positive development of Mrs. S almost-assassination attempt: She sees Darkwing Duko meeting with Alison! Oh ho. She informs the rest of Clone Club that Evil Cho may be using the Hendrixes to get to Sarah. And indeed, that’s exactly what’s happening. Jailbird Donnie will get his feathers fatally plucked by a skinhead with a Neolution tattoo (subtle – NOT!) unless Alison tells Duko where he can find Sarah.

Time out. If Evil Cho thinks the “self-aware clones” are such a threat to her plans to gene-modify the world, then, uh, why the hell did she let Cosima walk free the night Duko killed Kendall? I mean, if you really want Sarah Manning, why didn’t you – oh, I don’t know – threaten to kill Cosima unless Sarah revealed herself? I can understand letting Cosima go in order to warn the other clones to back off, but if you really want Sarah out of the way, you tossed away a pretty good bargaining chip. Okay, time in.

Sarah and Mrs. S convince Felix to chat with Alison (who is in rehearsals for the church production of Jesus Christ Superstar, a.k.a. The Plot Thread That Wouldn’t Die) and make sure she hasn’t been co-opted by Team Evil. Alison assures Felix that, aside from all her assets being frozen and Donnie being in an ugly orange jumpsuit, she’s peachy. However, when next we see her meeting with Duko, he puts her on the phone with Donnie, who is getting the crap beaten out of him in his cell. Pressured, she tells Duko that Sarah will be at the Rabbit Hole tonight.

Hours later, Duko is on stakeout outside the comic book store – and Skinhead Tattoo Boy is still beating up Donnie? Really? Isn’t that kind of a long time? Aren’t there lockdown hours? Does Wilson Fisk run this jail, because that would explain a lot!

Tatiana Maslany as Alison, and Gord Rand as a fuzzy Duko

In any event… surprise, it’s a setup! Alison told Felix what was going on, so Sarah, Art, and Mrs. S ambush Duko inside the Rabbit Hole and force him to call off the jail hit squad. In one of the best scenes of the past two years, we see a very anxious Alison in the middle of Jesus Christ Superstar rehearsals juxtaposed with scenes of Donnie getting beaten up. Felix, quietly watching the rehearsals, gives Alison the “Donnie isn’t dead” code signal, and she’s able to smile and relax in a literal and theatrical prayer of thanksgiving. Nicely done.

Mrs. S is still in a Jack Bauer mood, so she shoos Art and Sarah out of the store while she hooks up the car-battery clamps onto Duko’s shoulders. DAMMIT, DUKO! THERE’S NO TIME! Sorry, got carried away on a 24 wave of nostalgia. It’s soon apparent that Duko knows bupkis about Neolution’s bigger plans; he’s a mere tool who was forced into doing Evil Cho’s dirty work because she’s threatening his niece. “You understand? It’s about family!” he pleads. “Oh yes,” says Mrs. S, preparing her favorite rifle. “Family.” BLAM! Darkwing Duko’s blood sprays across an Atomic Robo poster, reducing its value by 85%.

Oh, and what made Duko feel so at ease that he let his guard drop inside the comic book store? Item #3: Dungeons & Dragons! He saw Hell Wizard’s D&D tabletop! Hell Wizard nervously said that his party consists of of a 10th-level paladin, a 12th-level thief and a half-elf cleric named Albus Dimbledots. Duko compliments him on the party makeup but says that it’d be even better if it had someone who could turn into a dragon. Ah, great. Darkwing Duko is a munchkin.

Was a munchkin. Min/max that, you dire weasel!

The Good:

Felix’s sister Adele wasn’t annoying this episode! Still clueless about clones, she gets the night’s best line when she meets Alison and says she looks just like Sarah, “but with less anger and more hygiene.”

Also surprisingly non-annoying: Rachel! When Susan proposes she take up a hobby instead of worrying about the fate of Wednesday Charlotte and the other clones, Rachel suggests carpentry: “I can build us all coffins. Shall I start with the smallest first?”

Everything with Alison this episode was terrific. My breath was taken away again by the fact that it’s one actress playing all these wildly different characters. Kneel before our Taslanic majesty, fools!

D&D for the win, baby.

The Bad:

Evil Cho Incorporated is guilty of poor supervillainy, as described above. If they truly want to get rid of Sarah, they had better, earlier opportunities to do so.

There’s a logic leap behind the trap to get Duko. Okay, Alison sends Duko to the Rabbit Hole. But why would they ever think that Duko would go alone? Or that he wouldn’t tell Evil Cho about Sarah’s hideout as soon as Alison told him? It’s a stretch, at best.

The WTF:

Still no Helena! But she’s back in the next episode.

-Ken

A gut-wrenching episode of Orphan Black! But is that a good thing, or is the series twisting the plot yet again because … well, they can? We’ll get to that as we discuss “The Scandal of Altruism.”

First, we have a Highlander-esque flashback! Beth is back in black (and blonde) as we, the audience, see what voyeur Art couldn’t: where Beth went after she left her apartment with the handgun. She plans to assassinate Mommie Dearest herself, Susan Duncan! There’s much more to come in this flashback, and it’s too bad the regular characters can’t watch this at home like us, because boy, these flashbacks would’ve come in handy!

We check in with a bunch of folks in rapid succession:

• The Eww Couple of Susan Duncan and DNA-Boy-Toy Ira have a post-coitus discussion of their options, and we learn that Ira does have the same potential for “glitching” as the other Castor clones. Still, Susan sees hope for him “as long as Sarah listens to reason.” Uh-huh. Susan, you haven’t been paying attention to this series, have you?
• Cosima tells Sarah all about her BrightBorn experience and the chat with Susan Duncan and Evil Cho. There’s a deal to be made, especially with the clock continuing to tick on Cosima’s life.
• Over at the police station, Art quickly steers Detective (and Neolution spy) Darkwing Duko away from Krystal, who has come to complain about the conspiracy “targeting beauty professionals.” As misguided as she is, her quest for answers could cause a lot of problems for Clone Club. The solution: Felix poses as “Inspector Dawkins, from the Yard.” Krystal: “Which yard?” “Scotland Yard.” It’s one of the few bits of levity in a brutal episode. No room for Hendrix hijinks in this one.

Sarah goes to BrightBorn to talk terms with Susan and Evil, and she learns that each maggot bot is given a different task. Leekie’s maggot bot was designed to impede the onset of Alzheimer’s. Sarah’s bot was designed to make her sick. Neolution wanted to know why Sarah’s biology was different than her sestras’, so her maggot bot was playing Whack-a-Mole with her immune system to collect answers. Sarah has important info to share, too: Kendall Malone has cancer. However, this is potentially good news for Clone Club! Cosima and Scott can use the cancer cells’ reproduction to separate Leda from Castor in Kendall’s wacky DNA.

Sarah’s condition from giving those cells to Susan? “We’re not saving Castor.” Thank you, Sarah! She’ll give only Leda cells so that Cosima and the other sestras can be cured. Ira isn’t happy that his Mrs. Robinson refuses to go to bat for him after all the times he’s, uh, batted for her, and he gets all Morrissey for the rest of the episode. Evil Cho and Cosima then remove Sarah’s maggot bot in a surprisingly risky operation, and we’ll very glad that Cosima was there to keep an eye on Evil. Hmmm, I don’t trust her!

Mrs. S isn’t happy about the planned cell swap. “You bartered my mother behind my back!” (Coincidentally, that’s the plot of the lost episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.) But things do move along: Scott begins harvesting the Leda cells while Susan and Kendall have an unpleasant chat. Then things go south fast! Kendall is nabbed on her way out of the meeting, Sarah tosses bleach on the cell samples and accuses Susan of pulling a fast one, and Cosima is in the grasp of Evil Cho. Susan pleads innocence, so the Kendall-napper had to be the scorned Ira, right? Nope! It’s Darkwing Duko, who takes Kendall to an abandoned field, where they wait….

We learn via flashback that Beth spared Susan’s life after hearing Susan say, “I’m your creator” and claiming that she loved Beth and all the Leda gals. Susan says that if Beth kills her, it won’t solve anything, it’ll give the script editors heart failure, and it’ll probably result in all the Ledas being killed. So, wonder Sarah and Art, where did the blood on Beth’s hands come from?

From Evil Cho, that’s where! She orchestrated the assassination attempt to knock Susan off the top perch of Neolution, and Beth beats the crap out of her when she realizes she’d been set up. Darkwing Duko stops Beth, but Beth believes Evil’s claim that the only way to keep the other clones safe (at least for a while) is if Beth kills herself and takes her crusade with her. Honestly, this part seemed like a bit of a stretch. If Beth knows that Neolution is going to keep manipulating  the clones’ lives – or worse – then what benefit is truly gained by her suicide?

In the present, Evil shows up at the field with Cosima in tow. Her plan is to kill Kendall and incinerate the body so that no genetic info can be retrieved. Essentially, Evil wants all the clones to go away and die. Direct genetic manipulation is where all the fun is! Clones? Feh. That’s competing tech, and obsolete competing tech at that. She tells Cosima coldly, “You’re Betamax.”

With that, Darkwing shoots Kendall in the head and sets fire to the van. Evil doesn’t kill Cosima – probably to avoid a revenge spree from Sarah – but before she leaves, she rubs a bit of salt in the wound: “Delphine Cormier was shot dead in the Dyad parking garage. Tell Sarah it’s over. Or Beth died for nothing.”

And that’s it. Any hope of a cure for the sestras’ condition is gone. Kendall is dead. Delphine is dead (maybe? I bet not). And Clone Club seemingly has no cards left to play. As I said, brutal. But not really fulfilling. There was no “wow” or “oh my god” moment in this episode.

The Great:

The fakeout with Ira. I fell for it, too, just like Sarah.

Krystal’s marvelous inability to understand why “Inspector Dawkins” was English if he’s from Scotland Yard.

The climactic scene in the field. It was framed and paced extremely well.

The Not-So-Great:

Let me get this straight: There’s yet another Big Bad to deal with? No sooner do we think we’ve reached the top of the Neolution/Dyad/BrightBorn pyramid than we find out that Evil Cho is really calling the shots.

The WTF:

I understand the need for super-secrecy, but is Scott really delicately harvesting cells on a table in Felix’s studio? Dude! You don’t know who’s been ON that table!

Okay, so this incredibly important research that Scott and Cosima were conducting that could literally save Cosima’s life wasn’t even backed up???  That’s an oversight that Krystal or Alison would make. Not Cosima.

By the same token, Scott and Cosima didn’t make sure to harvest any of Kendall’s cells prior to the Susan Duncan meeting? They knew what she wanted, and more importantly, they knew they couldn’t trust Susan/Neolution. Clone Club made a bunch of uncharacteristically dumb moves this episode, which is maddening because the stupidity was Because Plot Reasons, and not anything particularly believable.

So, after two episodes of “is Adele really Felix’s sister,” she just kind of disappears stage left. Again, there better have been a point to Adele’s introduction, and a really good one, because at this point everything involving her and Felix smacks of little more than timewasting episode filler.